Perhaps it’s not a bad thing that I cannot change my train to catch one earlier… perhaps it’s positive that I have 2 hours in the station for myself. Perhaps, it’s time I sit down and write a bit. And this post is just for myself, you know when you’ve been keeping too much inside and although you know what you need to say (or write) it’s all way too much and the first thing you feel like doing is: scream!! This is like a scream! This is me just shouting in the woods 🙂 By the way, have you ever tried doing that? I was never a person who screams until … I did it. Months ago I went with my backpack (you can find some pictures on my instagram account btw) for a walk, an unplanned walk… it wasn’t like Santiago, this time I didn’t have a map, nor had I looked at the area: the only things certain were my departure and arrival places – and in fact I got lost the first day walking 15km more and getting back to where I was supposed to be stopping the first day, as if life told me “hey easy easy… don’t rush, don’t skip…”. So I didn’t skip anymore and I bonded with two women with whom I shared a whole week. I left alone, as I do uhm always and I had an urge to be alone and be far far away from everything and everyone… yet, meeting them made my trip a trip I will forever remember. But why did I end up talking about this? Mmmm… Oh yes because when I think of me screaming in a forest, I remember that trip. I had gotten to a point I had to release emotions and crying was not enough. After I screamed the first time I surprisingly felt better 🙂 Also realised how many times we feel “uneasy” but don’t know what to do about it nor we are able to recognise what is it that we’re feeling. Well, there are emotions that we need to get out of the system! We must! In order to feel good again. You know how many of us release emotions? By yelling at someone else, by calling a friend just to pour a bag of our shit into her/his head (without wanting to really talk), by beating up someone, by talking bad about someone…. and the list can go on. Though what happens inside of us, what we feel is nobody’s business but ours and we should learn to let all those uncomfortable emotions out in a safe place alone, or in the presence of somebody prepared to take your garbage and help you. And we all have that “friend” who is like a garbage can for our emotions, don’t we? … I did.
But why a forest?… Well, if you have a sea or ocean nearby that will do the work too. Why? Because Nature is there for us. I found out that only trees could keep standing while I screamed; only trees could stand up tall and support me while my strength was fading and I had to get on my knees. Water can support you the same way, It transmutes your feelings and gives you back calmness. When I was in Lausanne, I was teaching children that when they feel overwhelmed by emotions such as anger or sadness… instead of becoming violent towards another child, they should go up to a tree, hug it and give it to the tree. They did it, and still do it… This is because sometimes humans cannot take all emotions from other humans no matter how much they love you, simply because we all have our lives packed and nowadays the world demands a lot from each one of us. It’s important to learn to take care of our emotions, to find our own ways.
Many times, I don’t have a forest nor the sea where to release stress. All I’m left with is writing. Or just sitting on the roof at night watching the stars.
I wrote bits of poetry some weeks ago. I wrote bits on my diary. It’s not enough. I am so happy about all that I’m doing that I just do it without planning my moves nor had I had it all imagined when I started it… No. In fact, what I feel is that it all went unexpectedly smooth and now I need to catch up 🙂 It went smooth because I did not plan it, nor I had fixed ideas about anything… it all unfolded and surprised me and I literally couldn’t ask for better things to happen.
Tomorrow morning I have meetings with an elementary teacher to co-create workshops about plastic pollution, then I have a meeting with a two high-school classes and will also meet four girls who volunteered to help me with this project about straws. Theeeeen I will meet with a wonderful woman who runs creative workshops about how to re-use what we usually consider trash.. and after that, I can relax and get a massage 😀 ahahahahahahahhahahahahaha Yes I should also write down a guideline of this project as there are people from other parts of Italy asking me how to do it there where they live. And I’m happy and excited and just tired 🙂 But I will get it done. Speaking of getting it done…. Enough venting out 😛