And at last it happened! I deleted my instagram account 🙂
The following day I receive an email from my German agent asking if all was ok, what happened and if maybe I changed name. All was and is ok.
There is a real world here and I was starting to miss it out. The thing is that the most beautiful things I do or see I never share online, also the best moments and the people I love the most I never share them either. I tried many times to keep my instagram “real” and not follow the trends to gain followers but I still realise I get in a mindset I don’t like. I can’t control it, I begin obsessing over getting new content, new publishing material, what if I don’t show that at the moment I haven’t been working? Will people label me as looser? What if I don’t show them how successful I am… what if I don’t show them how happy I am… What if what if what if. Lucky the one who is immune to it! I am certainly not.
In my profession having instagram today is crucial, yet I have agents who should guarantee me the work. We models forget that. It’s very easy today to get a girl with +10k followers to book jobs…. but can you get a girl booked if she has no followers? Where are those booker’s skills then? I dropped agents in the past when they started telling me unless I reach 10K they will not book me a job, well that goes against my philosophy.
Instagram has the ability to rewire your brain. Many bend their reality, change their bodies, have plastic surgery, choose the right friends, choose the right girlfriend… to be photogenic for instagram!!! Are we crazy? As if that intangible world is more important than our physical one. Instagram gives you the illusion of reality, because the thoughts and images you create in your head are the way you access emotions but the problem is that you are not connected to your body. Another problem is that the people you start interacting with that you have never actually met before create after a while an illusion of friendship and “knowingness”.
I am still here though. More alive and ok than ever. Funny how people immediately think one has problems if she gets off line, no?
One thing that I had been thinking about was … 15 years there wasn’t social media, how was I keeping in contact with friends? Well I wasn’t! Or rather, I had the phone number of those who interested me or email address but after a while unless I was physically seeing them we would lose touch and to each his/her own life. Today there is this crazy belief or myth we must keep in contact with everyone and see what everyone is doing. Well I thought: what if I stop keeping contacts through social media? What if I start looking around myself more? What if instead of looking at millions of photos I start travelling the world? …. There is a photo of every magical place on Earth, or so they make you believe, but aren’t you tired of looking at photos? Everywhere we live beauty is offered to us but we look for a prepackaged beauty, we look for someone to point out that that is beautiful. That is worthy of instagram. That is worthy of thousands of likes. You are worthy of thousands of likes… oh but if you’re not reaching that then you are certainly unworthy, uninteresting, etc.
Illusions…. when are you going to give up on them?