On Freedom and Taking Care

What is a Woman today? Who is She?
Have you wondered?… You as a woman, as a young girl on your way to becoming a woman, have you stopped to reflect upon what is a woman today? Or what kind of woman do you want to become?

Today we hear a lot about things such as freedom, working women, feminism, independence etc. Yet, what does it mean to be a free woman? What does it imply to be a working woman? What is feminism today? How does it feel to be independent – and from what? Many times we don’t realise how by becoming independent in one area of our life, we start depending on something else…

This year’s 8th of March, I was cleaning the house of my best girlfriend with another bestie. She wasn’t feeling well lately and the house needed an entire reset! So in the morning we arrived at her house with all the necessary for cleaning πŸ™‚ Half way through I realised how beautiful is this thing of taking care of a girlfriend, and it’s ironic this happened on the International Women’s Day. To take care of the beloved, or friends, or family, or the home, is something that feminism hardly mentions. Or if it does it does it so little I missed it.

Growing up I joke I was trained by my grandmother and my mother … they wanted to make a lady out of a rebel. I would do everything they taught me but I was mad at them. I would judge them as “little women” who have not won their independence. Today I thank them for that and for having been hard on me because what I judged so poorly due to my ignorance, now I cherish as the most precious teaching they have given me. By teaching me “all things women” they taught me independence, self-respect and love. By being so hard on me and never letting anything pass by… repeating to me all the time the same thing until it got in my head never to leave, is what today makes me the one I am.

My grandmother and mother are women who took very well care of their homes. My grandmother has always worked, yet she found magically the time to cook every meal and to have the house polished. My mother stopped working after she had my brother and decided to take care of us. Today looking around at the modern families where the woman and the man both have careers, I see lonely children, I see young ladies who have nobody who gives them a set of rules and teaches them basic things; I see women who have bought the myth of the successful businessman and because we were told we want equality many decided to become men themselves. And here I believe, society lost something.

And so taking care… is strength.
I remember last year I went on a backpacking trip on my own and one day I got extremely sick. I had met two women and we knew very little about each other. One of them also got slightly sick that same day. What happened was something natural: the third woman took care of us both. She went to the pharmacy for us, bought us food, made sure we had everything we needed etc. The following day we were on our feet again ready to continue walking.
Why are we so scared to show that we care about someone?
Yet I believe that freedom, a woman’s freedom is very much related to taking care. Beware that by claiming equality you don’t become a man yourself. I see women harden their hearts and souls, unable to show vulnerability and warmth. Feminism today is tricky and young women think that freedom has to do with being naked in public and having sex with random guys. I just wonder if that makes them happy and confident about themselves. I wonder where is the line? And are they playing whose game exactly? …

I am a woman and my freedom lays in the fact that I choose to play nobody’s game. I am for equal rights but I believe men and women are different and that there is gold in the diversity when both are mature and can fuse together.

(PH Lily Cummings)

6 thoughts on “On Freedom and Taking Care”

  1. I think this applies as much to men as it does to women. There is no reason for men not to be caring, vulnerable, or sensitive, Do care and warmth have to have a gender?

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    1. You are correct. Though in our society men are taught to suppress those character traits because labeled as a weakness…

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      1. Hmmm.. That seems to be the other side of the coin that says women must be caring… Can we separate one from the other?

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      2. Separation is an illusion and won’t work on the long run. Integration…

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  2. You are absolutely right. There is a danger that young women might confuse feminism with freedom of doing things that men do while in reality they are capable of doing much more than men.

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